In parallel, if you don’t reflect on your past, under pressure you’re bound to react very similarly to how you learned to cope when you were a child. When young, the brain is at a critical point where it’s more malleable and receptive to getting wired with how to cope with situations. We can learn new ways of coping throughout our lives for sure, but in high pressure situations, without much work or reflection, we’ll almost always react very similarly to how we learned to cope when we were young. So it’s worth examining what armor you wear. Armor being the ways you try to protect yourself that don’t serve you.
Even if you had a great childhood, you’re bound to still have some unhelpful armor. Because we all were raised by imperfect humans, and even the best intended people can’t do things any better than they knew how. Some questions that may indicate armor you hold: did your family overly rely on humor to cope? Was talking about emotions altogether avoided? Did someone in your family make it feel unsafe to be vulnerable? Did you have a family that didn’t actually want to see who you were as a person or help you be an independent person?
Brene Brown has said:
Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.
Another day in the life of Brina... 